Dear Friends & Family
What can I saw about the previous year other than God is truly good. As most of you are aware I was able to spend five months down in Brazil this past year working with Missionaries from my church affiliated with Brazil Gospel Fellowship. Their ministries focus on a school they began in 2001 for native kids. The school is called Alfa and serves nearly 300 students. In Brazil kids begin school at between the ages of 18 months old to 2 years and must be potty trained. For the parents out there you can relate to how difficult that can be. They have four years of kindergarten and Alfa has students through 9th grade. If you want to hear more about Ken & Lori Stucky and their ministries read about them here
http://www.loristucky.blogspot.com or http://www.bgfmission.com/MSStuckyKen.html
They have been recognized locally and nationally in Brazil for the quality of education provided and have been called a “great benefit to the communities they serve”, by government officials. Alfa provides the kids with sound Christian principles as well as a good education. The other main ministry they have is a small church, Christ is Life Church. They have a small congregation of about 40 people currently; they are continually sending out members from their church to leadership positions in other churches and have sent off a number of families as missionaries to other parts of Brazil. Much of my time working with them was leading the Youth Group for the entire time I was there. Teaching and playing games with them as well as helping to plan activities and short trips.
I was also given the opportunity of filling the pulpit for 2 months near the end of my time there. As many of you are aware I am not particularly adept at public speaking, so this challenge was especially difficult for me as not only was I preaching God’s word, but it was done through a translator into a different language. I must admit that this was one of the most difficult things I have had to do in my life. It was a constant challenge for me to find the words and the courage to stand up there each Sunday and hopefully present a relevant message to the lives of those present. The prayers of all who were lifting my efforts up to God where and are very much appreciated. For anyone who wants to hear more details about my time in Brazil I kept a blog of my trip at - http://followingfootsteps.blogspot.com .
I returned to the US at the end of July and was grateful that I had my job still waiting for me. I am thankful given the situation that many people found themselves in this past year on unemployment. Though working in an Emergency Children’s Shelter has many difficulties and is stressful many nights dealing with extreme emotional situations it has been a rewarding experience. Though it doesn’t feel like it many nights I have had the opportunity to touch the lives of kids that do not have many positive things in their lives.
I have also been blessed with my involvement in a small group of Christian men each Thursday evening. We get together weekly and spend time in God’s word and fellowshipping together. God had been working on my greatly through this group and I am thankful for the impact each of them has had in my life. The small group of four has grown to five now and I look forward to the opportunity of more in the coming year.
Finally, I want to say thank you to all of you who have impacted my life not just over the past year, but through every stage of life that God has led me. I know I am not perfect by any stretch of any ones imagination, but I would be far less than I am without each and every one of you in my life. I know I do not say it often, if ever to some of you, but my life is joyful because of you, and I pray that each of you have many people in your lives like you.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Who I am
I just realized today a lesson in life that God has been trying to teach me for at least a year. It has been on of the hardest lessons I have had to learn because of the pain that I have begun to realize that this has caused in other people and the difficulties it has placed on every relationship in my life. I, like most people I think, had an image of who I was and also that of what I was not. I have built this image up over my life by the choices I have made and observing the people around me. We each have this perception of who we are and what we want to become, but for me I God has finally taken me to a place where I was ready to see the truth and not the fiction that I had constructed in my own mind of who I was. I am not a good, honest, faithful man of God as I had lead myself to believe that I was. I have come to realize that many of the things that I had convinced myself that I believed and held as truths had in fact only been part of this costume I had been stitching together over my life to convince myself I was more than I was. It has taken God 33 years and especially the last one to finally tear down, or to begin to rip the stitches loose from this facade that I can see inside and glimpse the real me. I am in fact a very selfish, arrogant, manipulative person. Three things that I had been trying to tell myself most of my life that I never was going to become, but in fact already am. I have used many cloaks of deception for myself and others to try and hide this truth excusing these realities through things like duty, honor, faith and even God. Trying to explain them away by shifting the focus away from who I actually am and trying to justify them through whatever was handy at the time. I have had to come to realize that I have been running and hiding from myself for much of my life and do not know now what to do with myself. I do not know who I am anymore, not that I ever really did because I was always hiding who I was and trying to pretend to be something I never could be as long as I was unwilling to open my eyes and really take a look in the mirror of reality. The constructed fantasy of who I was, was better than having to face the reality of what I wasn't. I have lived a life hidden and in fear of the truth, but if the Bible is true it is only in the truth that you can be set free. While it seems odd that the process of letting go of the chains that bind me to a false reality should be painful to let go of they are extremely so. The last two days have been a harsh and painful time of seeing the truth, and only a very small piece of it at that. It is that moment when you walk out of a pitch dark room that you have been sitting in trying to see for so long that the light of a single small candle flame is enough to make you wince in pain at the brightness of the light. god is so gracious in the fact that He only uses a small flicker of candle light to awaken our eyes to the truth and not the full glory of who He is that would burn us to ash at first glimpse because of the darkness that has been our world. I want to seek the forgiveness of all those that I have wronged and treated unkind over the years. Those that I have pressured and pushed, talked down to, tried to make you feel stupid or insignificant because I did not agree with you. I want those that feel I have treated them less than honorably to write to me so that I can seek your forgiveness and understand how my actions have been a curse upon those that I have treated unfairly. It took the courage of a few people in my life to help me understand some of the depths of my own sin in this area and my iron will that I have cast so harshly against other people and the damage that it may have caused. I want to thank those of you who have been willing to talk with me over the past couple days helping me see the truth of who I am and helping me understand better the depths of my own self disillusion and deception. It is a hard thing to take a look at your life and realize that you have not even been honest with yourself about who you are and the motivations for your own actions. I really believed that I was so different than who I was and that my desires were honest and sincere at least that is what I had convinced myself of. Thank you God for being patient and merciful in all things for those things that we do not deserve that you provide us with because you are compassionate. I hope that someday I can begin to better portray God in my own life than I have been able to do thus far and truly live an example of His son to the world I live in.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Coming to the end
Well my time here in Brazil is running short and I thought it would be a good time to reflect a bit on my time here. While I still do not speak Portuguese (sad to admit) I have come a ways in my ability to understand some of it. I am now able to pick out words in conversations that I hear and some time even understand the concepts being spoken of but am not anywhere close to what I would have liked to be able to do with the language. I had big hopes that spending 5 months here immersed in the culture and language that I would have been able to carry on conversations at a basic level, but it was not to be. My time here was directed into another path by God. I was given the opportunity to minister in a needed way that I do not really enjoy doing, but my time here was not about doing what I like, but meeting the needs of others. So I got to spend 6 weeks preaching in the Church here and ministering to them through God's word. I am thankful for the opportunitty, but I would be a liar if I said I enjoyed it all the time. I am grateful for the time studying God's word that it gave me, but I still do not like standing behind the pulpit. I am grateful for the lives that I know God touched through my time behind the pulpit and thank Him for the part I got to play in that.
Also during my time here I was given the opportunity to teach the Youth Group here from March through June. I learned many lessons through the experience of teaching through a translator (as well as when I was preaching through a translator) that it is possible to keep the basics simple and still be profound in teaching God's word. The subjects do not have to be made complicated in order to make people think deeply about them. The simple truth contained in God's word is often more than enough to spark thinking in most people. It is presenting it to them in a way that they can understand easily but outside of the mundane manner they have understood it previously. And I will admit that was often difficult in this situation, because I only have a basic understanding of the culture and the daily lives and needs of the people here. That brings me to my next lesson that my teaching here has taught me. It does not matter what culture, language, or people you teach the basic needs of all people do not change. Yes that does include the need for God, but on much more human need issues as well. I have come to believe that people everywhere struggle with the same basic issues, although they are expressed differently because of culture and tradition. The root issues are all the same world wide. The quote from Solomon that "there is nothing new under the sun," has come to have new meaning for me. That though the problems may look different, the symptoms look different, and the language and manner they are expressed in look different than what I am used to seeing it is the same need that is being expressed. We all have a desire to be needed, loved and wanted. We all crave to be of use and have significance to ourselves and others. We want to know that we matter in more than just what we can do for someone else. and for most of us we have been willing to seek out those things in improper manners because we either do not know how to seek them properly or they have not been met in the proper way by others.
My time here has given me many opportunities to read and study that I have not had (or maybe just not taken advantage of) in my routine back in the states (or maybe my mind and heart have just been freed here to see things differently). One of the first books I was recommended to read was "The Heavenly Man," about the life of Brother Yun. It walks through the life of a house church leader in China and the persecution and torture that he received in China while he followed God's leading to build up the church of China. It was a powerful witness to me personally about what it should look like to follow after God wholeheartedly. I am not saying that unless you are being tortured for your faith that you are not following God but there are some amazing principles in his life that I think do. Persecution has always seemed to make the church focus on what is truly important and rely upon the strength of God than on the strength of man. This is greatly shown in this work and provides a testimony of the power that God still displays in our world for those that are willing to answer as Isaiah did, "Here I am send me(Isa 6:8)." When we are sold out and committed to follow God even through the difficult and hard issues of life He always provides us with the means, the strength, and courage to walk trough them. And in that testimony provides faith and encouragement to others who watch us as we do such things that they thought impossible, because they look to their own strength to accomplish them. The Bible teaches us that not even Jesus did the miracles that where performed by Him on earth in His own power, but it was the Father working through Him (Acts 2:22). We are told that if we have faith as little as a mustard seed that we can move mountains, and greater things than Jesus performed on the Earth, but we do not see those things today because of the littleness of our faith. Jesus reprimanded His own disciples repeatedly for being of little faith. The same men that later performed great signs and wonders in the power of the Spirit could not even understand scripture plainly when they were with God, but once the Spirit of God came upon them became bold proclaimers of the truth. The same can be true of us if we would devote ourselves to Him and stop doubting what the scriptures teach (James 1:6-8). The life of Brother Yun is a great witness to the power that is available through God to all of us. The manner in which he lived his life and relied upon God at almost every stage of his life is a powerful truth to each of us. I say almost every stage of his life because there are recorded within those pages times of doubt and pride that he willing tells of and how they negatively impacted his life and ministry. Just as they do for each of us everyday. As it says in James when we doubt we should expect to receive nothing from the Lord, but when we pray and believe that it will be done for us in accordance with His desire it will happen. James 4 tells us that if we do not receive it is because we did not ask, and if we ask and did not receive it is because we asked with the wrong motives. If you are desiring to spend some time in a book that I believe can challenge you with a modern day testimony of God's power and mercy to mankind find a copy of this book and open your minds to the possibility that God still works in a powerful way even in our days.
I have also seen God work in my own life giving me guidance and leading me along paths to seek Him. I have always liked the verse in Matthew 6:33-34 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." But it is hard to live our lives one day at a time. We all want to make plans for the future and plan out the steps we need to take to accomplish the things we desire. Or to put away a little something for tomorrow so that if something bad happens we know we have a security blanket to fall back on so that our comfort will not be diminished even a little if we can help it. But this is not what God wants us to do. He wants us to rely upon Him every minute of every day and we can not do that as long as we are relying upon of nest egg or our own storehouses. Luke 12:15-21 tells the parable of the man who stored up grain in storehouses so that he could live an easy life and Jesus is reprimanding this kind of attitude. We are not promised tomorrow and do not know the number of days that have been allotted to us, but we are promised that if we live for God the time we have will not be ill spent and our rewards will be great in heaven.
Well I am no different than anyone else these principles are difficult to live by even once in a while, but they are how we are to live. We are to surrender our lives completely to God and follow where He leads and accept His control over our lives, being living sacrifices to Him. We are not to desire for our own comfort, but to serve Him taking up our cross daily and following after our LORD. And He has promised that if we live a surrendered life to Him that we will always have all that we NEED, maybe not all the things that we believe we need, but everything that is required for life and service to Him. We are not promised to have material comforts in this life, but we are promised joy and peace that surpasses all understanding if we will live for Him. This is not a post claiming things that I have achieved but even a personal encouragement to myself on how I should be living. My life is far from exemplifying these principles but they are what I am trying to strive for and I know that I fail almost completely in them each and everyday as I grab things in my life back from God and think I know better how to handle them, or just am too afraid to let God do with them as He pleases. Living life for God is scary, because we all want control of our lives and to know what lies ahead for us, or at least be able to make some kind of plans. To walk through life not knowing what lies ahead or the path we will take in getting there is terrifying. I am often afraid of what it is God will lead me into next, or the difficulties that I will endure once I get there. Our flesh cries out for comfort and knowledge but we can not live for God as long as we are living for our flesh. We have to believe and trust that God is really in control of all things and that He truly loves us. That His plans for our life is really what is best for us and have faith that His word is true and that He will never lead us into anything that He will not lead us through. That He will not strand us in the middle of a dark and evil place, but that if we may walk through the valley of the shadow of death that He is by our side and is able to furnish a table before us in the midst of enemies and we be perfectly secure because He is their to guard us. Ephesisans 6 tells us that if we are clothed in the armor of God that we can withstand any attack of evil and stand in the days of trials for we are protected by Him who created all things and is able to overcome anything that has been created. But I along with many of you stand trembling in our armor as all Israel did before Goliath. Though we may think that the God and creator of all that is stand with us we cower before one who has been created and yet defies the creator. How I hunger to stand as David did as a small boy and say that God will enable me to overcome you for you are against God and I stand for God. And standing before a giant towering over me have the courage in my God to race towards him without any armor and only a sling shot at this heavily armored giant with full confidence that I will prevail because my God is with me. But I often run away from enemies much smaller and less fierce than Goliath was. A mere whisper of rebuke can turn me back to huddle in a corner pleading for rescue. There is a great song by Casting Crowns that teases me with the idea of this that i so eagerly desire called "The Voice of Truth."
Well, i guess I have rambled long enough for a reflections post and will leave you with the song from Casting Crowns, just click the link and listen to the words. I hope it will encourage you to stand for God and live your live for Him and not turn and run from opposition to the truth arises. Be modern day Davids and stand against Goliath on a field of Battle.
The Voice of Truth Song
Also during my time here I was given the opportunity to teach the Youth Group here from March through June. I learned many lessons through the experience of teaching through a translator (as well as when I was preaching through a translator) that it is possible to keep the basics simple and still be profound in teaching God's word. The subjects do not have to be made complicated in order to make people think deeply about them. The simple truth contained in God's word is often more than enough to spark thinking in most people. It is presenting it to them in a way that they can understand easily but outside of the mundane manner they have understood it previously. And I will admit that was often difficult in this situation, because I only have a basic understanding of the culture and the daily lives and needs of the people here. That brings me to my next lesson that my teaching here has taught me. It does not matter what culture, language, or people you teach the basic needs of all people do not change. Yes that does include the need for God, but on much more human need issues as well. I have come to believe that people everywhere struggle with the same basic issues, although they are expressed differently because of culture and tradition. The root issues are all the same world wide. The quote from Solomon that "there is nothing new under the sun," has come to have new meaning for me. That though the problems may look different, the symptoms look different, and the language and manner they are expressed in look different than what I am used to seeing it is the same need that is being expressed. We all have a desire to be needed, loved and wanted. We all crave to be of use and have significance to ourselves and others. We want to know that we matter in more than just what we can do for someone else. and for most of us we have been willing to seek out those things in improper manners because we either do not know how to seek them properly or they have not been met in the proper way by others.
My time here has given me many opportunities to read and study that I have not had (or maybe just not taken advantage of) in my routine back in the states (or maybe my mind and heart have just been freed here to see things differently). One of the first books I was recommended to read was "The Heavenly Man," about the life of Brother Yun. It walks through the life of a house church leader in China and the persecution and torture that he received in China while he followed God's leading to build up the church of China. It was a powerful witness to me personally about what it should look like to follow after God wholeheartedly. I am not saying that unless you are being tortured for your faith that you are not following God but there are some amazing principles in his life that I think do. Persecution has always seemed to make the church focus on what is truly important and rely upon the strength of God than on the strength of man. This is greatly shown in this work and provides a testimony of the power that God still displays in our world for those that are willing to answer as Isaiah did, "Here I am send me(Isa 6:8)." When we are sold out and committed to follow God even through the difficult and hard issues of life He always provides us with the means, the strength, and courage to walk trough them. And in that testimony provides faith and encouragement to others who watch us as we do such things that they thought impossible, because they look to their own strength to accomplish them. The Bible teaches us that not even Jesus did the miracles that where performed by Him on earth in His own power, but it was the Father working through Him (Acts 2:22). We are told that if we have faith as little as a mustard seed that we can move mountains, and greater things than Jesus performed on the Earth, but we do not see those things today because of the littleness of our faith. Jesus reprimanded His own disciples repeatedly for being of little faith. The same men that later performed great signs and wonders in the power of the Spirit could not even understand scripture plainly when they were with God, but once the Spirit of God came upon them became bold proclaimers of the truth. The same can be true of us if we would devote ourselves to Him and stop doubting what the scriptures teach (James 1:6-8). The life of Brother Yun is a great witness to the power that is available through God to all of us. The manner in which he lived his life and relied upon God at almost every stage of his life is a powerful truth to each of us. I say almost every stage of his life because there are recorded within those pages times of doubt and pride that he willing tells of and how they negatively impacted his life and ministry. Just as they do for each of us everyday. As it says in James when we doubt we should expect to receive nothing from the Lord, but when we pray and believe that it will be done for us in accordance with His desire it will happen. James 4 tells us that if we do not receive it is because we did not ask, and if we ask and did not receive it is because we asked with the wrong motives. If you are desiring to spend some time in a book that I believe can challenge you with a modern day testimony of God's power and mercy to mankind find a copy of this book and open your minds to the possibility that God still works in a powerful way even in our days.
I have also seen God work in my own life giving me guidance and leading me along paths to seek Him. I have always liked the verse in Matthew 6:33-34 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." But it is hard to live our lives one day at a time. We all want to make plans for the future and plan out the steps we need to take to accomplish the things we desire. Or to put away a little something for tomorrow so that if something bad happens we know we have a security blanket to fall back on so that our comfort will not be diminished even a little if we can help it. But this is not what God wants us to do. He wants us to rely upon Him every minute of every day and we can not do that as long as we are relying upon of nest egg or our own storehouses. Luke 12:15-21 tells the parable of the man who stored up grain in storehouses so that he could live an easy life and Jesus is reprimanding this kind of attitude. We are not promised tomorrow and do not know the number of days that have been allotted to us, but we are promised that if we live for God the time we have will not be ill spent and our rewards will be great in heaven.
Well I am no different than anyone else these principles are difficult to live by even once in a while, but they are how we are to live. We are to surrender our lives completely to God and follow where He leads and accept His control over our lives, being living sacrifices to Him. We are not to desire for our own comfort, but to serve Him taking up our cross daily and following after our LORD. And He has promised that if we live a surrendered life to Him that we will always have all that we NEED, maybe not all the things that we believe we need, but everything that is required for life and service to Him. We are not promised to have material comforts in this life, but we are promised joy and peace that surpasses all understanding if we will live for Him. This is not a post claiming things that I have achieved but even a personal encouragement to myself on how I should be living. My life is far from exemplifying these principles but they are what I am trying to strive for and I know that I fail almost completely in them each and everyday as I grab things in my life back from God and think I know better how to handle them, or just am too afraid to let God do with them as He pleases. Living life for God is scary, because we all want control of our lives and to know what lies ahead for us, or at least be able to make some kind of plans. To walk through life not knowing what lies ahead or the path we will take in getting there is terrifying. I am often afraid of what it is God will lead me into next, or the difficulties that I will endure once I get there. Our flesh cries out for comfort and knowledge but we can not live for God as long as we are living for our flesh. We have to believe and trust that God is really in control of all things and that He truly loves us. That His plans for our life is really what is best for us and have faith that His word is true and that He will never lead us into anything that He will not lead us through. That He will not strand us in the middle of a dark and evil place, but that if we may walk through the valley of the shadow of death that He is by our side and is able to furnish a table before us in the midst of enemies and we be perfectly secure because He is their to guard us. Ephesisans 6 tells us that if we are clothed in the armor of God that we can withstand any attack of evil and stand in the days of trials for we are protected by Him who created all things and is able to overcome anything that has been created. But I along with many of you stand trembling in our armor as all Israel did before Goliath. Though we may think that the God and creator of all that is stand with us we cower before one who has been created and yet defies the creator. How I hunger to stand as David did as a small boy and say that God will enable me to overcome you for you are against God and I stand for God. And standing before a giant towering over me have the courage in my God to race towards him without any armor and only a sling shot at this heavily armored giant with full confidence that I will prevail because my God is with me. But I often run away from enemies much smaller and less fierce than Goliath was. A mere whisper of rebuke can turn me back to huddle in a corner pleading for rescue. There is a great song by Casting Crowns that teases me with the idea of this that i so eagerly desire called "The Voice of Truth."
Well, i guess I have rambled long enough for a reflections post and will leave you with the song from Casting Crowns, just click the link and listen to the words. I hope it will encourage you to stand for God and live your live for Him and not turn and run from opposition to the truth arises. Be modern day Davids and stand against Goliath on a field of Battle.
The Voice of Truth Song
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