Taking compliments well

ok I don't know about the rest of the world but I find it hard to take compliments well. I don't even like having people compliment me on things that I have accomplished and feel good about doing a good job, but it gets even harder for me when I get kodos for doing something that I really don't feel I should be getting recognized for. There are so many people in the world that seem to be drawn to attention and getting credit for every little thing that happens, even for things they have not done I feel that I am a little backwards in this department. I mean why should I feel bad when someone want to say thank you for something I have done for them. I don't know but I actually feel, well I am not sure what the feeling is exactly, kind of like guilt or uneasiness when someone commends me for something or wants me to stand up and take credit for something I have accomplished. I would much rather stand in the background and know that I have done what needed to be done and watch others appreciate what I have done. Yes it is nice having the knowledge that people do appreciate what I do but it is not for recognition that I do things and I do not like to be publicly recognized for the things I do. It just seems so weird to me, like I am so different from everyone else in the world who fight and claw for every piece of publicity available. The idea that all publicity is good even bad publicity in the media today seems to be the standard. It is better to be in the news with mug shots than not in the news at all. So if you can't do anything good enough to make it go rob a store it is better than nothing mentality just doesn't make sense to me. Ok well that is my rambling for the day. A thank you is more than sufficient.

A Difference

As many of you know I graduated this May and have begun to think more about what the future will bring. I have realized that while I have been in school I have not had the time to do some things that I used to enjoy. One of those things is reading. Why yes while I have been in school I have been reading a lot, just not books of my choice, or subjects that I would just pick up to flip through. So after four years of school I decided to sit down and read a book just because I wanted too, and out of some coincidence God provided one that I never even knew about. It was called The Last Lecture. It was written by a professor at Carnegie Mellon University. The school has a series called The Last Lectures and they would ask teachers to give a lecture as if it is their last chance to pass on information to the world. Well it happens that this professor was going to be doing exactly that. He had been diagnosed with cancer and would not live very much longer. But instead of talking about all these profound thoughts and ideas he wanted to share his message was much simpler and that was how to live and achieve your dreams. Ok maybe that doesn't sound much simpler, but upon reading the book (only 200+ pages) at one sitting (11pm-1:30 am) it seemed like a much simpler way to go to me. I found myself eager to turn the page time and again as the last word came at the bottom of each page even with the morning beginning to wear on a tired mind. It was an amazingly clear and distinct message that he had about going after and living our dreams that we had as children and it really woke me up to the fact that I had so many dreams as a child and have not really fulfilled many of them. I can say that I have fulfilled a few of them, but they really weren't all that life altering kind of dreams. I have flown in a plane and flown a plane. I have jumped out of more than a few of them. I was a soldier (and that was a life changing event), I wonder if I will ever get around to fulfilling the dreams I had of really doing something to change the world or really impact other peoples lives. Now I can't say that I have not had the opportunity to impact peoples lives, because I have, but I am sure like a lot of people how much of an impact I have made or the longevity of that impact. As a kid I often dreamed as many do I am sure of being a super hero (Batman was my favorite) and really making a difference saving the world from evil. I remember watching Saturday morning cartoon wanting to be Superman and saving the planet or one of the X-Men, or He-man. There were so many of them and I just wanted to be one of them and really do something meaningful and life changing. To be super in some form or another. I know I am not the only or first kid to have these dreams, but reading Randy Pausch's book about fulfilling his childhood dreams I had to take a hard look at my dreams and wonder if I could fulfill them. Now as I said before I have had many dreams as a child, my parents often caught me daydreaming (as well as more than a few teachers) but now most of them seem so far away and unattainable. I will never be an astronaut or a super hero, but can I still fulfill those dreams in another way. I have spent a lot of time working with kids and youth over the last couple years and I have begun to think about the dreams they have. I have often asked them what there dreams are and been surprised and dismayed often by their responses. Some have great dreams like I did of being or doing something fantastic with their lives. They have a freedom to dream and stretch their minds with all the possibilities of what could be. But there have been many that their dreams are more like nightmares. The are in situations that do not lend possibilities or hope for dreams. They live in a world free from dreams or the wonder of thought that children should have because of the lives the are forced into. Although it seems like I am a little off the original point of fulfilling my dreams talking about other peoples dreams it is this point that brings me back to the superhero dream most of us have had. When I think of what the superheros do specifically it always looks like such a huge and impossible task to any ordinary person, but because they have the abilities it is easy for them to accomplish it. Well I think I can fulfill that dream of being a superhero simply by using the abilities I have (that others don't) to accomplish what they never imagined was possible. No I won't be jumping buildings, or stopping a speeding train, but I believe that, from working with these kids, that I can bring them a sense of hope and dreams that they have never had. Help them to see possibilities in life for them that they would never have seen on their own. I think that is will enable me to meet the challenge that Pausch gave in his book of reaching our dreams, by helping others begin to have some. I hope you all get the chance to sit down and look at this book, the story contained in it, and meet the challenge left in it's pages by a man looking back over his life at the end.

Lord Save Us From Your Followers

I stumbled across this flipping through some web pages today and thought you all might be interested in it. It gave an interesting perspective on what is going on out in the country today and some of the views that are pulling the sides of this country apart. Take a few moments to listen to the interview and watch the clip. It might just have an impact on what you do and say today.


This is the website for the book and documentary that led to the book.

http://lordsaveusthemovie.com/


The author gave an interview on the Today show explaining his reasons behind the documentary and the book




This is a 10 minute clip of the documentary film that was released of this mans trek across America to talk about Faith and its role in America today.

Grace University makes a National Impact

Well, this may not be about me personally, but I am proud of the accomplishment of our mens basketball team and wanted to share. They won the National Title for their division. They are National Champs in Mens Basketball for the first time in school history. Last year our ladies volleyball team won the National Championship. Our athletic department is making news Nationwide and having and impact for Christ as they have repeatedly been voted the best sportsman as a team and many of our athletes have been voted as conference and regional MVPs because of their conduct on and off the court. So I just wanted to give out a shout of respect and admiration to our student athletes. Congrats.

http://www.kptm.com/Global/category.asp?C=102586&nav=menu606_4

Winter

Tomorrow I am heading up to the frozen north for a church conference. I got to thinking that it just wasn't cold enough here in Nebraska this winter after spending the fall semester in the middle east so I am taking a trip North. I have been told that it is 60 below zero where we are heading which should be just about right. Of course if you haven't figured it out already I am only kidding. The Fellowship of Evangelical Bible Churches is having their annual workshop in Canada this year. Even though the weather was a might troubling last year we were at least heading south out of Omaha to get there. Thank You Meade, KS for making it such an amazing time, and I can only hope that again despite the weather that Saskatchewan will be just as good a time of fellowship. But that 60 below zero cold will have to be overcome by a lot warmer welcome than was necessary in Meade. So if you find yourself with some free moments between Tuesday and Sunday nights I would ask that you pray for traveling safety and insight during decisions for all the commissions as we work during the workshop. Also that I would make the time to keep up with homework as I am away. I pray that each of you has been blessed over the past few weeks since I have written and that you have stayed warm during the snow and cold.

Super Sunday

Well, I wish I could say that I am in for the best super bowl of my life, but I can't. First off because the Packers didn't make it this year, but they got close. But the big one is for some reason I decided to suffer through the Super Bowl being sick. So no celebrating for me today, darn I was really looking forward to it. I hope the rest of you get to enjoy the game and that the Pats don't win, and for all you Pat fans I am sorry I just am not a fan. Well, as the game gets ready to stat shortly I hope you all are merry and joyous and that there are no half time show mishaps.

Jerusalem Grades

Well I am excited to say that I have finally received official confirmation that I passed all of my classes last semester at JUC. B average which is what I was working for. Just thought I would share that information, because I was worried about two of them and I guess I didn't need to at all. I did figure out that I don't ever want to be involved in archeology, and Hebrew is much harder than Greek is. Just for those who are thinking about taking Biblical languages. Even if I had failed all of my classes the trip and time in Israel and the other countries was worth every single penny and more, but I am glad that I get the credit for it as well :).

Culture

Well, Monday nights I have a class called Social and Cultural Issues in Counseling. It is hard to say for sure, since we have only had two classes so far, but I am really enjoying this class. It is helping to give me more perspective about and thoughts to many of my experiences while I was in the Middle East last semester. We have been talking simply about the importance that culture and even non-verbal cues can have in our interaction and communications with other people. I think I realized before that communication and culture are important when dealing with people, but this class is pointing to an entirely different side that I have never thought of before. That even though I have an idea about the importance of culture in an individuals life, that even my own ideas about their culture can effect the way I am interacting with them and that the way I perceive my own culture is viewed by others has an impact on how I interact in different cultures and groups. I don't think I was completely ignorant of these ideas before, but I have never sat and really consciously thought about them before. To be questioned and probed for my views on these topics has been good for me, to think about how I am portraying myself to others and how my own cultural understanding is involved in everyday events.

I am a grad assistant

Yes that is right I have been given the opportunity to be a grad assistant for my winter session course and it is an eye opening experience. Part of my responsibilities is grading papers and evaluating group presentations. It is a little odd as many of the students taking the course are friends of mine that I have spent 3 years in classes with. I found it strange that it is harder for me to grade their papers than to deal with them face to face as we critique their presentations. I am relieved to find that they have all been receptive to the comments and not defensive or hurt by the comments we have made about their performances. But when grading the papers I find it much more difficult to maintain an objective mind because I can not interact with them and let them know why I am grading them the way I am. Helpful advice given to me today was to always err on the side of grace. I have also gained a greater respect and admiration for my teachers seeing just a little bigger piece of what they endure while trying to help us grow and stretch our minds. Grading is difficult work. I want to maintain a high standard and expectation of the work I know college students should be capable of, but also be gracious and encourage them at the same time. God said that to those that much has been given much is expected, but we can each only work as best we can with what we have been given, so I am confronted with the thought of how do you judge fairly on a flat scale when each individual is gifted and talented in different and varied ways. How do I maintain a standard to judge and grade everyone by when God has made them all so different? As Paul tells us not all can be eyes of feet for the body needs all the different parts to work properly.

Classes already

Yes it is true I have started back to classes already. I could not believe my eyes when I got around to registering for classes. In the three years previous that I have been at Grace I can not remember classes ever starting back this soon, but low and behold they did this year. It is a double edged sword heading back to classes. One because I wish I could have had a little more time to unpack (which is not entirely done yet) and recoup a little from all the travel. The other because it was really good to see old friends and get a chance to catch up on the time I have been gone. To see so many familiar faces and smiles has been a good way to get back into the swing of school.

It was weird that even though I am back to class with all that comes along with that I feel I am able to relax more here than I could when I was doing absolutely nothing over in Israel. I am not sure how to explain it, I tried to explain it to my roommate and don't think it worked so well. but I will try again, I think it has something to do with being comfortable in your surroundings. Even though I was in Jerusalem for three month and got to know my way around a little I was never comfortable with my surroundings as I am back here in Omaha. So even though I am a little busier than I was there I am able to relax more and enjoy what I am doing because I am more comfortable where I am. If that makes any sense you can read between lines well.


So far the class has been amazing. I am taking 1 & 2 Samuel as a winter session class and it is awesome, because I actually just finished reading through both books in December fully for the first time ever. So it was kind of amazing that I could walk right back into school and take a class on those two books. I also got registered for the Spring Semester and placed my book order. It amazes me every time at how expensive education is. Many times it almost doesn't seem worth the price tag that goes with the diploma. Well, I better get back to the homework I should be doing instead of rambling away. God Bless you all.

I was thinking

I have been back in the states for an entire, well let me see . . . almost 5 days and it has been sort of weird. I have been gone for fourth months and returned to very familiar things, but not so familiar if you know what I mean. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same (you can't replace the salt on the icy roads smell in Nebraska) but it just feels different, and I suppose that is because I am different in some way or another. I don't feel different but if everything else is the same it has to be me. I can't really explain why everything feels different but it is. I love to drive or at least I did before I left, but right after I got home I took a 2 + hour drive down to Hebron, Nebraska and back and then a 6 hour drive up to Minneapolis and I didn't find it all that relaxing. I used to find driving around relaxing and gave me time to clear my mind and think( yeah I know strange when everyone else seems to get frustrated and angry driving). But it actually felt a little stressful as I took that long drive up to Minneapolis on Tuesday. I think part of it is I was jut a little unsure of my own abilities after being gone so long and there was blowing snow over the Interstate, but I just don't think that was all of it. Even though I had driven this road many times over the past couple years it felt alien. Almost as if it was completely new to me as if I had never been over that stretch of pavement before. The scenery seemed strange and dead. Yeah I know I just came out of the desert what could be more dead than that, but you would be amazed at the amount of green out in those desert areas. The snow and white covering that I used to enjoy and look forward to so much each year now seems like the surface of a strange planet that I just stepped out onto for the first time. Ok this even sounds a little strange and sort of rambling to me now but I am at a loss to explain the feelings. It is like trying to slip your hand into your well worn and used baseball glove that you have been conforming to your hand for years and fitting your hand like a second skin only to find out when you put it on that it is now stiff, small, and uncomfortable. It is not what I expected when I was on my way home from overseas. I expected to slide that glove back on my hand and feel its comforting fit hug my hand and feel the supple well used leather stretch and move with every twitch and flex of my fingers, and it doesn't fit like that any more. So is it time to buy a new glove and start working it back into the comfortable fit that feels good on my hands or work at getting the old glove back into playing forms and stretching it back out to reform to my hand now. This is a big decision because I am supposed to be graduating in May and have made plans to continue on with two more years of school towards a counseling degree but is that where I am supposed to be going. Well I just wanted to write out what my mind was tumbling with but am not sure it makes much sense now that I have written it so I apologize if I have lost you. Well I will be heading back to Omaha Saturday afternoon to get ready for class starting Monday morning. Hope you have all had a good start to the new year and the prospects for the months to come are looking bright and joyous.

Rome Pictures

Vatican
Rome
Rome 2
Rome 3

Rome was an amazing and wonderful place. Standing inside the Sistine Chapel was one of those moments where I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I am still in awe of all the places I have gotten to go and see all that I have. It is almost like I have been dreaming this last month and haven't really been to all these places, but then my memory kicks in and I realize that God has truly blessed me with these travels and the friends I met along the way. I was amazing to me to meet so many other American students traveling abroad and hear of all their adventures on trains and in airport waiting areas. I hope you have all enjoyed the pictures and the little bit I have taken opportunity to share about my travels. Now that I am back home and have had a little bit of time to sit and think of everything I have been through it makes me sad to think that I am back and there is no train to catch tomorrow for so new destination, but it was nice to walk out of an airport and recognize the skyline. The next destination is back to school on the 7th of Jan, much earlier than I have been accustomed to the last few years, but change is part of life. Well I hope to continue to hear from you all and wish you all the best as this new year begins to unfold before us. God bless.